I thought it could take 10 years

I channel-surfed the television at work waiting for 11:30 to clock out and as usual I synchronistically happened upon "Rescue Me" by Dennis Leary. It is not as if I did not see the bulletins announcing the 911 inference to be forthcoming but I thought I had missed it last week. I was surprised to hear Daniel Sunjata, who plays a character in the FDNY based comedy drama on the FX channel Tuesday nights explain the Project for a New American Century to a French journalist who is writing a book about the 10th anniversary of 911 and listened to the flawless recital of the 4 basic tenets of the PNAC's Neo-conservative policies (http://www.newamericancentury.org/) leading up to the horrors of 911 and its aftermath. I feel like I am preaching to the choir so I will dispense with the specifics and stick to my feelings about the scene. (http://vod.fxnetworks.com/fod/play.php?sh=rescueme

I wanted to cry but the tears escaped me and I realized I had heard and read and spoke about it so many times before it seemed surreal to be watching someone on cable TV confidently explaining the truth and then I felt like I was in a drama and my life was a story inside or was it outside the one I was watching on TV. It seemed pointless even though I wanted to call all my friends and tell them to watch it after it abruptly ended with Sunjata's character Franco Rivera asking the journalist if she was single - only Leary could deflect a history lesson on the real "axis of evil" with sexual conquest which twisted the moment forever. Now I cannot remember if "Guinevere" was unimpressed with the speech or dumbfounded by the pick-up line "are you single?"

This brings me to a discussion I had mostly with myself but I remember my sister was present in the room. We had argued because I tried with futility to convince her that chem trails are real and 911 was an inside job. To hear those words on television, not investigate 911, but 911 WAS AN INSIDE JOB and not on independent news programs like INN or Democracy Now is like being told I won the lottery. I told my sister (after I realized then my pearls fell on the ears of a sow) that it will probably take 10 years. Where did that come from? and one mention of it on a cable channel late night program is hardly a special report on multiple mainstream news agencies. It is significant because it means something has changed. I know I have. I am not the eager activist I was carrying the “No Child Left Alive" poster from Florida to DC and beyond. I have learned to temper my opinion but to be honest and listen for opportunity to speak my truth. These moments are rare. Most people could not handle this kind of disclosure and it will have to come out in small sound bites. But it is coming out of the woodwork, out of the closet, into the sanctuary of the sleeping who are awakening slowly if it is their desire to do so.

I guess I will end with a short anecdote my mother confided in me about my stepfather, a proud and accomplished Navy veteran who has listened to me with interest and sometimes fear at the realities I have shared. He came home recently and pronounced how he came to the conclusion that he is terribly self absorbed. We all knew it for years but after all is said and done, only you can know your own truth and no one can help you learn it sooner than you are willing to accept it.

I am glad I am so bold as to terrorize my family with my understandings of things and I am grateful I have hurt people less and less as I grow wiser and more loving of each person where they are here and now. You should be too. Pulling peoples covers is mean and has nothing to do with truth- only control. I surrender. I am happy and proud to have been born now and living long enough to see what we as people can do to lift ourselves out of the morass we have created. It appears we are all learning we are self-absorbed.

Love and light dear friend.

shedding tiny scales from my third eye

I am entering an evolution of mind and casting fear to the wind by promoting thoughts and concerns soon to shed like tiny scales from my third eye. I have read, reviewed, and even posted others wonderful works. I will endeavor to solicit love, non-attachment namely surrender and promote others doing the same.

Tonight, while sitting and thinking about Twitter, I flew by, built a nest, and perched. I have so many stories to tell I know it will be an interesting season. I wanted to start by confessing secret desires, to be a Nobel writer and create the theorem for the new paradigm. I tried to explain it to my undergrad professors as they prepared my recommendation for Princeton this fall. Alas, I was overlooked and denied my place in the nexus of conformity. I was fortunately published in a recently discontinued publication on dialectical and historical materialism. My paper, which was to be read in Beijing at a conference on the Socialist Market Economy, is entitled "Mobilizing Sustainable Industries." It is a concept article supporting the production and distribution of available green technologies with little jabs at the Bush cabal sprinkled in as therapy for my effervescent distaste of the unending war with all its devolutions. I had up until that time a weak ego, was clingy, and insecure. I had left my second husband and thought a trip to China would start my new life. I was barely aware that I had already gone through a great change and only needed to open my eyes and heart to the possibilities before me.

My situations changed little besides the obvious, a little more buxom from lack of essential aerobic activity and some geographical moves I thought might appease. My consciousness has jettisoned out of this galaxy. I blame it all on MySpace. Initially I was fearful of such a rogue website, heeding rumors mostly innuendo I avoided anything remotely irreverent. Then, demon possessed I dove into the darkness with abandon, read everything esoteric and politically abhorrent I could find and instinctively knew I was on the path towards elucidation. How thoroughly little girl’s psyches are poisoned by Christian dogma. I was a faithful follower until I examined the movie Zeitgeist and discovered the hermeneutics of god. Now understanding true emptiness, I put one foot in front of another and learned that I am complete and one of many. We are all one separated by shadows reinforced by unknown and unnamed fears. My fledgling flight here is a testament to overcoming bias and disinformation. I hope to continue to post insightful messages and inspiring ideas that will clear facts from fiction. There are many things to discuss and sharing is the highest form of love.

Namaste dear friend.
Siesta Key Beach 2008